Life has so many things for you that you never know! Your whole path of life may change in a couple of hours. I have to make a big decision, a very big one, a very hard one....It has been a while that I have been trying to make up my mind either one way or the other!
I am standing at a point with two roads in from of me, each getting ahead totally opposite directions! I may know some of the places I may pass by or go through my voyage in each way, but the point is that I can not tell which one will lead me to my destination at the end....
It is so hard to say. It is so hard to choose.
Should I stay in the United States and start a whole new life and try my best and utmost to make it a real life for myself and try to change things for my people and country or should I go back home to my dear Iran and continue living with all those fears and pressures and risk my life this time?
This is not a new question basically. I have had it in my mind all through the last 12 years, while I was back there and my family insisted that I leave the country and start a more fruitful and promising life outside. I have always believed so strongly that the remedy is not in leaving the country; I was among those who challenged to stay and make things better inside the country. I tried to generate hope and to spread it wherever I could. I optimistically believed that having hope will change things. And growing a bit more practical I learned that we have to take actions using these hopes. I was not the only one who used to think like this. This was mostly attached with my generation. We grew challenging. Every simple factor required for our life was to be achieved with a series of difficulties. We were raised at the time of war, with a heavy load to bear on our weak shoulders. We had to witness so many bitter things; we had to tolerate a lot of short comings. We had to put up with so many difficulties. We were forced to grow up or to act and understand and behave like a grown up. We had to understand that things couldn't be the way we wanted them to be. We had no chance to enjoy our childhood, neither our teen ages, nor our youth. We had to swallow a variety of short-comings, pressures and crisis.....
For all of us it was hard to withstand, especially those who had memories or experiences to contrast. Particularly for those who could not stay silence and watch their country ruining under the government of some dictator, cruel oppressors who have no pity, no respect, and no morality. We had to keep silence or else we would be through the horrible experiences many opposers had, which we had to witness in pain, sorrow and fear.
Even at the time being that I am miles away from there, expressing myself, I still have many things to be worried about: First of all my family.
What shall I do?...
I am standing at a point with two roads in from of me, each getting ahead totally opposite directions! I may know some of the places I may pass by or go through my voyage in each way, but the point is that I can not tell which one will lead me to my destination at the end....
It is so hard to say. It is so hard to choose.
Should I stay in the United States and start a whole new life and try my best and utmost to make it a real life for myself and try to change things for my people and country or should I go back home to my dear Iran and continue living with all those fears and pressures and risk my life this time?
This is not a new question basically. I have had it in my mind all through the last 12 years, while I was back there and my family insisted that I leave the country and start a more fruitful and promising life outside. I have always believed so strongly that the remedy is not in leaving the country; I was among those who challenged to stay and make things better inside the country. I tried to generate hope and to spread it wherever I could. I optimistically believed that having hope will change things. And growing a bit more practical I learned that we have to take actions using these hopes. I was not the only one who used to think like this. This was mostly attached with my generation. We grew challenging. Every simple factor required for our life was to be achieved with a series of difficulties. We were raised at the time of war, with a heavy load to bear on our weak shoulders. We had to witness so many bitter things; we had to tolerate a lot of short comings. We had to put up with so many difficulties. We were forced to grow up or to act and understand and behave like a grown up. We had to understand that things couldn't be the way we wanted them to be. We had no chance to enjoy our childhood, neither our teen ages, nor our youth. We had to swallow a variety of short-comings, pressures and crisis.....
For all of us it was hard to withstand, especially those who had memories or experiences to contrast. Particularly for those who could not stay silence and watch their country ruining under the government of some dictator, cruel oppressors who have no pity, no respect, and no morality. We had to keep silence or else we would be through the horrible experiences many opposers had, which we had to witness in pain, sorrow and fear.
Even at the time being that I am miles away from there, expressing myself, I still have many things to be worried about: First of all my family.
What shall I do?...
posted by Artmis at 1:20 AM
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